That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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