i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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