Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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