There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
