Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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