I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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