Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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