Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
