Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
