David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize