I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
