You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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