My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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