Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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