During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
