I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
