I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
