I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
