I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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