So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
