You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
where are you?
Hypothermia
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
