Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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(989): View more from Michigan

You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?

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