I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It all started with a game of naked twister.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize