the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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