And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Found the puke drawer
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
