Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize