hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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