please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
