I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
