yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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