Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
