I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
