Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize