And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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