I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
