I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
