I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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