You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
