is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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