if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
