Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize