About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
