its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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