what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
