Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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