You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
In America we eat man semen.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
