Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
