Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
