The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
God I need to hump something, right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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