it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
