It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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