I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
