I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
