kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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