My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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