Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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