Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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