He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
