You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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