ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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