She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
