Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i think my cat just said my name.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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