i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't think brook has ever known best
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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