He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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