Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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