i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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