Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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