I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
