We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
