the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
