My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
