We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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