yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
