I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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