can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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