He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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