Non-Jews are for practice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
