my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
