i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
