Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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