I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
