he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
