Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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