I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
